From the Library of Deacon Mike:
"We have never deceived ourselves by pretending to be angels on earth, but we know that Christian perfection and union with God must be realized in the treadmill of daily life. That God, in short, is found in normal life, provided this life is truly the life of grace and that we endeavor to live it thoroughly, with no pretense, seeking God and nothing else!"Thomas Merton
From the author of "When Bad Things happen to Good People" comes an inspiring book that puts human feelings of guilt and inadequacy in perspective – and teaches us how we can learn to accept ourselves and others even when we and they are less than perfect. For no one is perfect. But too many people insist on demanding perfection of themselves, their parents, their husbands or wives, their children, and others in their lives. The result: guilt, anger, depression, and disappointment. The book is entitled "How Good Do We Have to Be?" and is for everyone who experiences that sense of guilt and disappointment. Harold Kushner, writing with his customary wisdom, shows us how human life is too complex for anyone to live without making mistakes, and why we need not fear the loss of God's love when we are less than perfect. If God could not love flawed, imperfect people, God would be very lonely, because imperfect people are the only ones around. And if we can't accept and love people with all their imperfections, we condemn ourselves to loneliness as well.
Harold Kushner explains why we need to stop blaming our parents for having made mistakes in raising us. They were amateurs when it came to raising children – a task where even experts don't always have the answers. In their loving, faltering way, they gave us something more valuable than a perfect childhood. They taught us what a complicated thing love is, what a challenge it is to love and raise a child. And for those of us who are parents, Mr. Kushner explains how we owe our children the right to make mistakes and to learn from them. When our children were first learning to walk, taking tentative steps and falling down, we didn't scold them for being clumsy. We praised them for trying to do something new and challenging. We can do our children no bigger favor than to maintain that attitude as they grow up.
We need to give ourselves permission to be human, to try and to stumble, to be momentarily weak and feel shame but to overcome that shame with moments of strength, courage and generosity. We need to learn to define ourselves not by our worst moments but by our more typical ones. Life is not a test for which the passing grade is 100 percent and anything less is a failure. Life is like the baseball season, where even the best team loses at least a third of its games and even the worst team has it days of brilliance. The goal is not to win every game but to win more than you lose, and if you do that often enough, in the end you may find you have won it all.
Hope this book means as much to you as it has and continues to mean to me.
Peace!
Mike
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